I am not the best for sure but not the worst either

I Elaine can be an ass. I can be to giving I don’t speak up enough and I certainly don’t challenge others opinions. I am not the best at things but not the worst either. I am me just plain Elaine she’ll get over it.

I love I mean really love my daughter my son in law and mostly my grandkids. I love Todd he has let me be me.

I have regress back to being nineteen again

When Dale died I did too. I needed to find me good bad and indifferent I stopped growing and became dependent on Dale. I am who I am now through grief My best friend Sharon was wonderful but I believe I’ve let her down and all others.

Those good time came with many more bad times I didn’t share. You never asked

I love you just don’t want to be the ass that argues with you. Remember that. If you ask I will tell you. If not it dies with me.

Love you xoxoxox


A scammers life (explicit language) came from 267-595-2002 phone

Today out of no where I received a phone call. A man with a heavy Brooklyn accent said “ELAINE!” I said “what? Who’s this?”

“Elaine (last name) you live at (gave my address) your brother is (name) your husband Dale died!” “Who’s this??” “Elaine listen to me your brother hit my sister and her two kids ones in bad shape we don’t think he’s going to make it!” “WHOS THIS?!!???” “You listen to me good your brother is a piece of shit! I don’t care if they walked out in front of him!! You listen to me NOW!!!” “What – wait where what happened!!!” ” he’s here with me the piece of shit!!! He hit my sister we took them to the hospital. My nephew is hurt real bad we don’t think he’s gonna make it so much blood!!! Your brother is a piece of shit!!! You hear me?” “Wait where and….” “Listen I’ve got him here now he has his kids with him – piece of shit!” “What???” “You shut the f up. Your brother is the bastard son of (moms name)!” “Wait stop where do this happen what police department and where do I go???!!!” “Piece of shit!!! You must be just like him you C—!!!” “Whoa let me talk to him!!” ” oh you whore C— just like him!!! Bitch Mother F–er!!” “Wait what is going on? where…..”. “SHUT THE F—UP!!! YOU C—!!! Listen to me good!!!” “Stop screaming what the hell are you talking about? Where do I go?? What the hell happened!?!! What hospital?!??” “My nephews deductible is $2000.00 and you need to get this now!!! I’m going to kill him and then you at (address)!!!”

So it began. I proceeded to tell him I wasn’t dressed I needed to get dressed (it was 1:15pm I was stalling ) He told me put me on speaker phone – I did “You’ve got exactly four minutes to get in the car and go to the bank!!!” Now I’m calmed down other than the incredibly uncalled for names I wanted to keep him on the phone. “Who’s withya there??? Don’t tell anyone I’m gonna kill him then come and get you and the rest of you pieces of shit!!!” “I’m alone me and the dog!!! No no I will not tell anyone – put my brother on the phone!!!” “You little bitch whore I call the shots c—!!!” “Ok don’t hurt him please-

I love him he screwed up I will pay you anything!” ” you have to go to the bank $2000 dollars – you got that??? Two thousand I’m letting you off easy!!! Bitch you listening?!?” ” Yes I have to get dressed!!!” Ok quick do it quick your wasting time quick!!!” I took the land line and called the police. They will

Send someone as soon as possible I told them to please not knock I will look for them and come outside so the dog doesn’t bark.

“You listening to me???” ” yeah stop yelling your making me upset and I can’t think”. “You have no idea who I’m connected to!!! Tell no one I mean no one!!! You hear me bitch???” I’m looking for the police. “Get in your car!! Get to the bank now!!” Wait I have to get the card to the account that has the money it’s in my safe – stop yelling!!! Put my brother on the phone!!!” ” get on the phone you piece of shit! Oh now you won’t talk!!! SonOf a whore your c— sister wants to talk to you!!! You loser I’m gonna beat you again!!! You brother c— get in the car !!” I hear smacking noises and someone moan “yeah see what your making me do to your brother??? You have blood on your hands – got the card the card to your accounts???” “I’m trying your making me nervous!!!” “You whore nobody betta be there with you – you hear me??? I have a gun I’ll kill the son of a bitch!!!” “Ok ok stop Calling me names your making me forget the combination!!”

“You mean you have more than one account? Good two thousand!!” “Ok I will

Get the certified check who do I make it out to and where do I bring it??!??” “You dumb c— cash – cash get into Your car!!! Cash you dont know who your Fn with!!! Bitch I will take him out first you second then go through the family – ya here me you think you’re so smart!!! Dumb whore get into your car!!!” “I

Can’t get the safe open I’m shaking so bad!!!” “Youse think I’m that dumb bitch get into the car cash get cash then I tell you where you go to give me the money and to get your brother before I beat him to dear then shoot him in the head!!! You here me you dumb ass whore!!”

This man went on for fifteen minutes – we got disconnected and the police arrived. I was told that it’s definitely a scam and don’t talk to him again or tell him the police know.

There was so much more I mean so much more. My plea is to please inform those who are unknowingly picked by these people and would do anything for their families to be informed that this occurs.

Police took a report my phone company can’t help because of privacy laws – “get a lawyer go in front of a judge and we can release where the phone call originated from.” His carrier Cricket said the same thing. I told them to remember my name in case anything would happen. Their hands are tied. The criminal protected while I’m waiting for him to show up.

My brother wasn’t in an accident but he described an intersection perfectly near his business.

Protect those you love by all means but know this number (267) 595-2002 never gave me a name but knew everything about me be safe please. I will tomorrow go to my local congressional office to see what if anything I can do

I will not allow this black hearted human being who’s damaged soul continue on this path


I am willing to help when I can the worse is when you plan and then you have to wait on someone.
"Be right there I can't find my keys" –
"Ok". "Still looking and I'm going to change my shoes" "ok". "Wait my (insert name) called give me just a minute " "ok".
"I'll be in the car." Ok".
15 minutes later – I go back in. "You almost ready ?" "Yeah give me a minute!!" "Ok. I have to be (insert place) in about 20 minutes." "You should have told me you couldn't do it!" "I didn't say that. ". "Wow your really grumpy today!!" "Ok".
Five minutes later they are out of the house. I go along the route. Not much is being said. "Mind stopping at the store (put what Mart you have near you)." "Can we do this when I pick you up please." "Why it's on the way?" "I'm going to be late!" "You should have thought of that!"

Moral of the story – call me when you're ready!

Nice is the nicest thing to do

I am a widow. For two years I walked through fog. I trusted people I shouldn’t have and found out I needed to change my life. Friends left or kept a distance. It’s ok

Today a friend who lost her husband in March got a tongue lashing from a long lost family member on social media. Sad but true. This prompted a phone call from her to me.

Please don’t be cruel. It’s a time of uncertainty pain and weakness. People think your ok after a year the second year was worse for me. It was when I realized those who where in my life would leave and it’s loneliness on steroids. It’s finding who you are (I was with my husband from 17 on). These men died and left gaping holes in our hearts. They died young. We are considered young widows. My husband died suddenly as hers died of cancer yet so suddenly too.

So be nice. Don’t give advice you have no expertise in. Be kind. Be loving. If not and you’re uncomfortable it’s ok to just not be involved in ones life. Don’t feel guilty. It happens. We all have to move past grief this is life. It sucks but the generous thing to do is be honest without harsh words actions or deeds.

Nice truly is the nicest thing to do ❤️

When the sun isn’t shinning

We all have them the blues the bland blah feelings and we do anything and everything to get out of them.

Missing people get me into them as does people that don't listen to my feelings I'm one that just becomes quiet. Don't know why but I do.

I go and do the things I love but it doesn't help. I eat my favorite foods nope not doing it for me. I talk to people no no not helping.

Time and healing is the only thing that does.

As I sit here I'm watching shows I love and thinking of how I get myself into these blues. The only answer I have is that people at times do not listen to me no matter how hard or how many times I say things. So time will heal me. I have to do it and I will.

I am so far from perfect but not far enough to be disrespected. I miss them time will heal me in a day or two I'm hoping. Then I will think and do it again – let's hope not but maybe.

Be kind to one another someone's silence it's being cruel to you it's just an insufficient way of handling something that other wise would once again not be heard

The meaning of love

So here I sit feeling somewhat blah and thinking in 98 plus degrees. I was thinking what is love – I mean what really does love mean.

I love people I really do!!! But for many different reasons. I love their kindness caring their involvement in social issues. I love my family for all they do even their quirks – God knows I have many of them. My friends for their company the laughs and always being there for me.

I love the summer spring fall and winter in that order. I love flowers seafood and cake – I can leave the icing

I love my dog!!! She knows my secrets and never tells she’s there when I cry laugh and never judges me.

I love riding my motorcycle for the wind the sound and the ability to leave my problems for the time I ride her.

I love the night sky and the beauty of its vastness. the ocean for making me feel humbled. The mountains for making me feel small. The fields for their ability to feed people. The little kids who laugh and show me the pure joy of nothing and everything.

Music – how can you not be transported to a time and place you either love or loathed. The singing of birds the wiggles of puppies and kittens. The fluffy clouds in a blue sky and the threat of the dark clouds before a thunderstorm.

Watching people on a boardwalk riding bikes swimming and the sound of laughter.

Trees budding in spring smell of upcoming rain in summer the smell of spices in the fall turkey and pumpkin pie.

So love. My dearest emotion is one who has many faces and evolves as I age.

I love love ❤️

S coffee yes coffee is my first love of the day 😊

So it goes

Times a funny thing. It speeds up when your having fun and drags when you dread the tasks ahead of you.

Today as I did yesterday and will tomorrow (hopefully) drink my coffee and try my best to do a good job cheerfully to raise monies for cancer.

It's a increasingly difficult job on the grass roots level. With all the social media allowing everyone from the comfort of their home to pick and choose the charities of their choices and forgetting the hard work of the gardeners that try to keep money in their communities.

I am the dandelion on the perfect green lawn. The crabgrass the unwanted but needed person that goes to your business to ask for your support. I know I'm one of many but please just smile and take
The literature explains my cause and donate if possible.

So I'm off to help those who I don't know and to keep those who have died in my thoughts. To listen and sympathize with those living this nightmare called cancer Smile I will with the knowledge in some small way I tried