Life is good so the saying tells me, and for the most part it is. My life as yours has many ups and downs and right now I’m on an up swing!! I say that and I mean it for the most part.
Juggling family friends and now a boyfriend is interesting considering my age. I have a grown child who is married and has a family of her own. The said child has a great spouse, job, and is financially secure Everything that most of us have wished our children would achieve mine has. My grandchildren do not want for anything including time with their parents. Oh yes I am a lucky person.
Just one thing – one thing that is driving us to near madness I’ve lost my position as matriarch of our family. I’m not the one who is asked for advice but rather given it. I am told how wrong my life has become when I like the way it’s running. I have a man who is so good to me yet is not good enough. I have friends who have been in my life forever and new ones who are making my weekends full of music fun dancing and new adventures but they are not on my child’s list of who I should be with. I’m a grown adult being reprimanded as if I was a teenager. I’m the happiest I’ve been since I’ve experienced the loss of my husband and yet saddened by the demise of my friendship with my child. I can not talk about my private life it’s a subject that causes my child to assume a fetal position, talk (actually yell) that they will not talk about it and other then that our relationship is wonderful. See the problem?
We have learned to dance around the subject of my life. I don’t talk about it and all is well. My family and friends have told the child how happy I am and this causes such a reaction that no one will say anything to the said child. So the dance continues. We twirl, we swing and tap around my personal life. The saddest jive I’ve ever danced
So with my new found happiness I dance the dance of demotion. No music no words just a sway enough to avoid the jabs of unkind words and knowing I am no longer needed or even wanted. I am last on the list – a very long list – of people who rightly deserve my child’s devotion. I am no longer an on the “A” list I am quite literally demoted. The bottom, last, and no longer needed I need to rewrite my resume’