Category Archives: Flower power, happiness

The cost of  “would you do the honor “

Weddings. Big Small first or second and you’ve been asked “would you do me the honor of being in my wedding?”  How do you say no – most don’t they dutifully go to the bridal place and tux place to spend hundreds of dollars for one day – one day of  a dress you’d never buy and a tux that isn’t your style.

Now that just he outfit !! Add in shoes hair jewelry to match the dress you wouldnt be caught dead in. For the guys to rent an uncomfortable suit in the middle of summer and it all adds up to misery.

Then you have showers – that I now know the bride has her hand in to plan and to tell just what she wants done on the day. Everything from colors to cakes to even the gift you buy is orcastrated   The men have the bachelor party and of course now the girls have to have a brides version too. And the tab is on you!!!

So “doing the honor of” cost thousands. It’s gotten so that if your uncomfortable with how things are going and your wallet is thin doesn’t matter as long as the bride is happy. It saddens me   Then you have to on top of the pre parties you have to buy a gift.  Not just any gift a gift your told to buy. When has this spun so out of control?

It’s become “cool” to be a bridezilla.  It’s one day and I believe couples have forgotten that it’s suppose to be a day of fun.  I’ve been disgusted by the couple making fun of someone’s gift. Did they ever stop to think that they thought of you and may have spent money they didn’t have on you.?And then the day of you’re suppose to give cash that equals what they paid for you to be there.  I find this revolting.  Again if grandmom a friend or relative has ten dollars and they give it to you  from the heart when has it become ok to announce to those that will listen how much the wedding is costing you!!   Sad.

So when you are asked to do the honor of remember it’s ok to say NO!!! It’s in my not needed opinion to give a gift in YOUR price range not the couples. And for the love of sanity let’s dump the bridezilla act. It’s so unbecoming   Let the shower be a surprise and be greatful for anything that you’re given. Weddings have become a day of over spending and trying to keep up with the jones while whining and telling anyone who will listen how stress out you are. Go get married have fun it’s not the wedding day that counts it’s the years of togetherness that does.

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Summertime and the swimming ain’t easy

Love just love going in the back yard and jumping into the pool – especially when it’s early morning or late night.  Set the towel on the deck cold drink sunscreen and turn the phone off. For me it’s perfect!

That’s my dream the reality is go out back forgot the towel a bee has drown In The cold drink and the sunscreen I’ve used expired.  Early morning the cats are creeping out of the garden they’ve used as a rest room and the mosquitoes attack me  at night!  

So try again. All my gear is there. I jump in – feels great I splash the cat and float like I’m in the clouds. Then it happens – I thought I thought of everything!!! The kids in the neighborhood conviently walk up the driveway just to say hello on this 90 degree morning. 

So hi Mrs Byers how are you? Whatcha doin?  Me nothing how are you? Hot!!! It’s just so hot I can’t even ride my bike!!! I like your towel!  Whatcha drinkin?  Me ok go ask your mom and dad and make sure you bring your own towel.  Fifteen minutes later. Hi!!!! I’m back!!! Mom said I can only go swimming with you if my brother and sister are allowed. Me – defeated ok.  They jump in slash around and an hour later I say ok time for me to get something’s done. We have to get out. Them ooooohhh!!!! I climb out wrap my towel around me. They jump out with pruned fingers blue lips and shivering.  We forgot our towels!! 

So four towel and one babysitting job later I’m in the house. Spying out the windows till they are out of sight and I slip back into the pool. I’m floating with sunglasses a ball cap pulled down so I don’t see anyone   Ten minutes of bliss then it happens.  Hey Mrs Byers thought you had to do somethings in the house to do! Me resigned as I drag myself out of the water yeah right now I’m doing them right now.  

Summertime and the swimming definitely isn’t easy 

Cinderella’s Claim to fame

White horses clopping carrying a pumpkin carriage footmen and of course the beautiful Cinderella!  That to me along with all the other Disney Princesses is what in my mind is a princess. 

We through that term around and was wondering what are we teaching our girls?  

We tell them you’re my princess – you look like a princess – you are a princess!  So in there young minds are the thinking the carriage will be pulling up any minute to wisk  them away to their castle? Or do they believe that they are saved from chores are above others and do they in their developing brains believe that they are better then all of the other princesses?

We are raising – yes we are – a generation that have lost compassion. They are focused on having better “things” then those around them and if another princesses castle clothes or “carriage ” is less then Theirs they are not very kind. 

We have blurred the lines between hard work to gain and what princesses deserve. A quick reminder we dont deserve anything we go forward through education hard work and kindness to our fellow man. 

So I understand some will say it’s a term of endearment and I agree that’s what it is however look around.  Listened. The girls who are given to much and who think they are prettier smarter (without the benefit of education and maturity) and “deserve” without trying have become the princesses of the castle brat.   I long to go back and reverse this trend. 

If I’ve offended you at least a conversation will begin. Remember Cinderella started off in ashes and through her kindness  learning became the princess we know today

Thunder and Rain

As I sit here where I live we have  just completed our  second heat wave (3 days of over 90) and the clouds are heavy today. You can smell the rain coming!  

May was cold and rainy June in the beginning was cool then summer heat kicked in. 

I dutifully water the gardens sweat and hope the humidity levels fall. And I wait.  Today’s the day as is the whole weekend rain will visit with humidity levels close to one hundred percent.  

I love the thunder that accompanies the rain this time of year it’s oddly soothing to me.  Thunder snow is cool but a good thunderstorm in the warmth of the summer months just fascinates me.  

The flowers grass and trees know it’s coming!!! They stretch towards the clouds and wait for Mother Nature to do her thing. They grow better with her help.

Then It dawns on me it’s not the thunder that produces the results it the rain. And then I know that we can be the thunder or rain. 

Another lesson learned. Thank you Mother Nature 

Ignorance and Bliss

Yesterday Today and again Tomorrow I willFind those who the truth offends.  I’m not talking about opinions bullying  but those who are in the state of eternal bliss of ignorance   

I’m told that people are offended if facts don’t support their agenda. Why?  I may not and sometimes don’t like reality but it’s there smacking  me in the face.  So I take it think about it and go on my way. 

Not those dancing in the joy of their own reality.  “Don’t do that” or the ever popular “I know but…..”. Continue to be spoken and the truth skirted. 

Those with the knowledge need not speak although it’s frustrating the obvious reality will come about.  I wish no harm only help. Not to be a know it all just to help.  I will sit on the sidelines and watch the twirling the tapping the grinding but eventually the bliss comes from knowledge 

Sounds of silence

Summer brings with it the songs of the birds they wake me up ever morning and the tree frogs And crickets lull me to sleep with their sweet sounds – this I long for in the dead of winter. 

The kids -that are few and far between-  ride bike and scooters they throw balls and frisbees between the laughing and crying fowl I truly love it !!!

Sprinklers the ice cream man home improvement projects the crows and pick up games all have their own music. 

Quiet in the dead of night. Stars blazing the moon shinning. The lighting bugs dance and the neighbors unwanted cat visit the gardens without a sound   I pray for this always the silent night and it’s darkened beauty   The peace and comfort that comes with the darkness interupted by slivers of sunlight and the songs of the birds   

A viscous and summer cycle.  I love it 

Down the rabbit hole

Well it’s happened  well maybe.  I’ve become a person who never fights for myself.  I will fight like hell for those I love but never for me. It’s a place of self hatred. It’s a room filled with misinformation and I have allowed it.  

What bothers me is I could solve or have tried to solve issues and have made them worse. I stop explaining and allow whatever is said to be people’s truths about me. It hurts but I’m the author by not wanting to fight.  Funny I will do anything for others but not for me. My world is the weirdest of weird designed by my silence. 

I’m wrapped by a non vocal fence roped with the barbs of words and still silence is my defense.  

I’m like the rabbit who runs to her hole – it’s dark cold and decorated with what I know and others don’t. It’s not warm and safe it’s desolate by my design. I’ve tried but it’s my reality my life my truths not heard. Yes I’ve done wrong – nothing horrible but yes I’ve not been a Saint but who has?  

Sorry isn’t enough I don’t tell I allow hurtful things to be said I walk away. No one asks they allow me to making me believe I’m not worth it   

So back in with my head poking out occasionally to see what else I’ve done without a word I’m down the rabbit hole