Chapter 6

Saturday February 7th 2010 we woke up to a blanket of white. Must have been a foot of snow on the ground and blizzard conditions. I hopped out of bed made coffee fed the dogs and peered out the window to watch the endless snow flakes fall. My husband after about a half an hour hadn’t gotten out of bed. I went to our room to find him still under the covers and he had fallen back to sleep. I dressed took the dogs out in the snow and came back in. Still he was sleeping. I made another cup of coffee warmed up and went in the room to check on him. After asking if he was alight he turned over and he looked so sick. He informed me that the flu was back. I got dressed again walked to the nearby connivence store and bought some ginger ale for him. He was still sleeping. I asked him if he wanted to go to the doctors. His reply was as expected “no”. Once again I went outside to start the huge task of removing snow. It had been some time now when for the third time I woke him up. He was sweeting aching and just looked very pale. I pleaded with him to let me call the doctor once again the answer was no. Back and forth I checked in him and continued to clear the snow. He was throwing up now. I kept bringing him fluids and he was not feeling better he was feeling worse At 6pm I said enough I’m calling an ambulance he said ok. Got out of bed and patiently waited. Due to the weather it took 15 mins but at least the 3 feet if snow was cleared from our driveway. He was so pale his heart was racing and now he was having difficulty in breathing Our dog was pacing back and forth to him and back to me looking as if he was telling me he needed help. When the EMTs arrived they took one set of vitals and said he needed to go now. His heart was racing his blood pressure was high and he had a fever. They had great difficulties in starting an IV due to he was so very dehydrated. We arrived at the hospital were my daughter was a nurse and was on duty Doctors allowed me and my daughter to stay with him while they were assessing ha condition. Doctors told is that his oxygen levels were dangerously low and that they would have to intubate him. He said find just please help me. He looked over to us we said we loved him and then the doctors had the equipment they needed set up. He looked at me with such fear in his eyes. I told him I loved him again. A drug called succinylcholine was given to him to temporarily paralyze him to insert the breathing tube He went unconscious The doctor was having a difficult time getting the tube in. I learned the true meaning of fear in one blink of an eye. Machines began to scream His heart stopped. Nurses started CPR I heard the pounding on his chest the doctors ordering epinephrine and other drugs. I watched as a mask was placed over his face and pumped manually to breath for him. I seen tubes of blood drawn and rushed out of the room. They started his heart again he was on a vent and unconscious I stood in a corner with my daughter watching in disbelief what I had just witnessed. Then the questions began does he do drugs – no- does he drink had he been sick – yea he had the flu this week. Through all of this uproar He didn’t move. I was fearful for what was to come I couldn’t think fear had taking over my body. I just stared at him and answered question after question. I learned that night at 6:40pm (time called when CPR was started) that true fear is not being afraid of a person it’s beIng frighten through the loss of control. The inability to change or help in a situation that a loved one is in.

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